I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
