i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
