Where is the hickey?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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