On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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