Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
