Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
