you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
