its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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