i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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