I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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