Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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