He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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