The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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