No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
