youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
