I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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