why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
