so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize