The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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