I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
