If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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