Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
