Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
