Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
