Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
