is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You are the jesus of drinking
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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