smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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