First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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