i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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