I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
