Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
