yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Randomize
