so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
