We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
