She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
