So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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