I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
