See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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