never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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