I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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