Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
