so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
