Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize