Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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