Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
