It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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