she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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