The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
