I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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