she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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