Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize