I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho