She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
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the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.