All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??