pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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