I feel like abortions should bother me more
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
