Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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