I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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