So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
