Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
