I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
