Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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