I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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