what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
