he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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