I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
