Will you blow on my dice?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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