Someone shit on the floor
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
