There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
