i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
