I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
