Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
