problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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